Mary G. Pepitone
Kansas City Star

For some couples, settling down for that long winter’s nap may require separate bedrooms. Career demands, a new baby or family illness may be the life-changing events that require separate slumberlands.

A second master suite is part of the sweet life for some area families. Nancy and Bill DiRocco have been married for 35 years, and a renovation of their Overland Park home a year ago helped accommodate their lifestyles.

“I’m a night owl and like to read in bed,” Nancy DiRocco said. “Bill’s job is demanding and he can be an early bird.”

The DiRoccos aren’t alone in wanting to create separate-but-equal master bedrooms in their home. More than two-thirds of designers, architects and other industry experts surveyed for the National Association of Home Builders’ “Home of the Future” study said the demand for two master bedroom suites in new luxury homes would increase by 2015, according to Gopal Ahluwalia, NAHB’s staff vice president for research.

The DiRoccos created a master suite for Nancy above the first floor’s master bedroom. Bill is self-employed and often has early morning commitments, while Nancy likes to sleep in after spending nights connecting with friends and family via the computer in her bedroom.

Nancy’s suite is richly decorated with muted purple walls, cream-colored accents in the bedspread and window treatments. Her newly renovated bathroom is like a personal sanctuary. “It’s my own private retreat,” she said.

“And Bill says he likes my new boudoir.”

Couples can still be connected, even with separate bedrooms.

“I believe in having a together space — but also respecting another’s need for privacy,” said psychologist Marilyn Metzl of Kansas City. “It’s important to find a balance between time together and time spent alone. If you have the space to create a second master bedroom, it’s a unique opportunity to accommodate the changes in life.”

For Howard “Obie” and “Jean” Oberhelman, the big change in their lives came when Jean was diagnosed with cancer 11 years ago.

After Jean became ill, their son Larry, and his wife, Leona, moved into the main house while Obie and Jean moved into the garage, which was converted into a 900-square-foot second master suite. Built by Obie, Larry and another son, Dennis, the suite has all the creature comforts of a second home, including a dining/kitchen area and hot tub.

“Jean loved it out here. She loved the outdoors — to be able to ice skate in the winter and watch the birds and the deer,” Obie said.

“This was our way to have our own space but be able to be close to other family members.” After Jean’s death in July, Obie wanted the remaining family members to stay put. The Oberhelmans’ farmhouse on 200 acres in Wellington, Mo., has been in the family for five generations.

“It’s a good living arrangement and eases any worry,” Leona said. “We eat meals together, and it’s comforting to know we’re a few feet away. We’re separate and yet together.”

Second master suites also are popular with those experiencing the opposite spectrum of life — welcoming a new baby into the family. Genevieve Marie Szylleyko was born in May to Mary Ellen Vincent and husband Olo Szylleyko. Vincent converted an empty sitting room off their Kansas City home’s master bedroom into a “mother’s room.”

“Rather than having (Olo) getting up with the baby and being sleep-deprived the next day at work, this arrangement has worked out really nicely,” Vincent said. “At night I focus on taking care of the baby, because I know he doesn’t function well without sleep. We all get our sleep — as much as is possible with a new baby in the house.”

Just because a couple may sleep in separate suites doesn’t mean they’re separated or disconnected, says Sarah Wallbaum, owner of Mama Sara Doula Services in Prairie Village.

“A new baby can be disruptive to the sleeping patterns in a home. If both parents are sleep-deprived, they can become cranky or depressed,” Wallbaum said. “I’m seeing an increased interest in attachment parenting methods. That may mean a mother’s room that is in close proximity to the master bedroom so parents can be attached to the baby and to each other.”

Vincent’s “mother’s room” is light and cheery and doubles as Genevieve’s nursery, with both a crib and double bed. As the baby gets older, Vincent says she will return to share the master bedroomwith Szylleyko, leaving Genevieve to have her own room. But for now, this sleeping arrangement with two master bedrooms works best for their family.

“Olo is a sympathetic and supportive father. He may hear her (Genevieve) cry and come sit with me,” Vincent said. “We still take advantage of the baby sleeping to read together and snuggle.”

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Second suite setup

Personal space. To create a second bedroom retreat, consider television or computer needs, and determine how to connect cable TV and Internet. For a new mother’s room, make space for a crib, changing table and rocker. Special care for an ill family member may require additional electrical outlets and special storage for medicines.

Night safety. As in any bedroom, keep areas free of clutter to prevent midnight trip-ups. Sound barriers. Consider soundproofing bedroom walls and floors to ensure that one partner’s late-night activity doesn’t disturb the other’s sleep.