Marni Jameson
Marin Independent Journal

To save money (which is how all our home disasters begin), my husband, Dan, decided to install our new backyard lawn and a couple flowerbeds - himself. We paid for a plan to tell us what to put where, then Dan set to work. He started in May so our own little paradise would be ready for summer. We pictured evenings sitting on our deck, which we have, looking onto a lovely yard, which we don’t.
Now it’s mid-July. Our backyard looks worse than before. The small knoll once covered in what some would call weeds, but which I prefer to call native vegetation, is a haphazard web of open trenches, white plastic sprinkler pipes and an occasional piece of large, yellow, drivable machinery. Colored plastic flags wave where utility lines are, and fluorescent orange spray paint outlines spots where boulders will go, which makes the place look like a crime scene.

It’s paradise, all right. And now, because we’ve encountered “the Unforeseen,” we’re at a standstill.

Like all our home improvement projects, this one started with a burst of gusto and a promising vision. Dan cleared the knoll, added soil amendments, then had a quarter ton of boulders delivered; think hernias on a forklift.

After that, he tackled the sprinkler system. After a weekend of digging trenches like some prisoner, he had to report to his a real job. That week it rained - a lot. The trenches filled with mud. The next weekend, Dan dug the trenches again. And it rained, again. This happened three times. During the last digging spell, he found the leaks: The Unforeseen.

On one side of our knoll, a manmade rocky stream tumbles into a small pond. Underneath this water feature is a rubber liner that’s supposed to keep the water in. The liner now has holes in it. These could have been the result of Dan’s digging, which no one in his right mind would mention, or voles, little underground varmints that have nothing better to do than tunnel through people’s yards and chew on plastic liners to get more fiber in their diets. In the interest of world peace, I’m going with the vole theory.

So, we can’t install sprinklers until we have a stretch of clear weather. If we do get sprinklers in, we can’t put the lawn in until the water feature is fixed. Before we fix the feature, we have to evict the voles.

Bob Dolibois, executive vice president of the American Landscape and Nursery Association, assured me that our experience was not exceptional. “Putting in a simple landscape can be deceptively difficult,” he said. “You have to treat your yard as a structure, and approach it as you would a house remodel. Expect the same setbacks.”

Here’s what else Dolibois suggests outdoor improvement enthusiasts note before they get stuck like us:

- Don’t be naive. Though putting in plant materials may seem as if it should only require a little digging and sweat, you have to factor in weather, codes and covenants, and where your utility lines run - so you don’t stick a shovel through your Internet cable.

- Expect a wild card. Assume you will run into something unexpected: old construction debris (the cement foundation from a long-gone work shed), remnants of a sprinkler system that predates yours, or an ancient Indian burial ground, which will cause your home to become a mecca for ancestral pilgrimages. (Our problems could be worse.) If you think it will take three weekends, plan on six.

- Start small. When landscape costs run high, the first place people cut is plant material. Rather than postpone planting for one to three years, install smaller plants. If the tree you want is $250, buy the same type of tree only smaller for $80. In three years it will be a $300 tree.

- Beware of pick pockets. Unfortunately, when times get tough many inexperienced people get a truck, slap a decal on the door and call themselves landscapers. Other landscapers may overestimate your project to feed their crews for a few weeks. Be alert for both. Check credentials, years on the job and similar projects the company has done. Ask for a detailed breakdown of costs including materials, labor and protections against unknowns, so you can compare pricing.

- Have courage. Doing some of the work yourself will save money. Just don’t lose nerve or patience when you encounter “the Unforeseen.”